I just play one in my head.
"The Voice" is back. The one that comes around every time I try to quit smoking. The Voice comes and then the mood swings begin a few days later. TV is so negative and mean. It's like an abusive spouse in your head all the time.
The Voice: (15 minutes left on the timer.) Close enough! Go ahead have another cig you've been good you deserve it.
Me: Go away.
TV: Come on, Heather. It's ok no one's looking... no one will know.
Me: I SAID FUCK OFF! Leave me alone!!!
TV: You'll never be rid of me. I OWN YOU! You can't do this. You're nothing without me.
Me: Watch me, asshole!
So far I am winning this war and I am soooo happy about that.
I am putting it here for all to see so when "TV" comes back I can tell it that everyone knows about it and it can't trick me. It's exposed and it can't try and bully me anymore. I tell Jase now when it happens so he can keep an eye on me. I'd never talked to him about stuff like this during my past attempts so hopefully full disclosure will help. I just don't want him to think I am nuts or not trying hard enough. TV coming around is actually proof I am doing it. I am trying and succeeding!
Too bad TV isn't an ex-husband. You can't get a restraining order on a figment of my imagination.
I'm going to keep the timer where it is for now. I was going to up it another 10-15 minutes but I'm not going to risk pushing so hard that I set myself up for failure. I've cut the smoking in half the first week so with 20 days left til VDay I think I am on track.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
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Sunday, January 24, 2010
I'm not a lunatic...
I just play one in my head.
"The Voice" is back. The one that comes around every time I try to quit smoking. The Voice comes and then the mood swings begin a few days later. TV is so negative and mean. It's like an abusive spouse in your head all the time.
The Voice: (15 minutes left on the timer.) Close enough! Go ahead have another cig you've been good you deserve it.
Me: Go away.
TV: Come on, Heather. It's ok no one's looking... no one will know.
Me: I SAID FUCK OFF! Leave me alone!!!
TV: You'll never be rid of me. I OWN YOU! You can't do this. You're nothing without me.
Me: Watch me, asshole!
So far I am winning this war and I am soooo happy about that.
I am putting it here for all to see so when "TV" comes back I can tell it that everyone knows about it and it can't trick me. It's exposed and it can't try and bully me anymore. I tell Jase now when it happens so he can keep an eye on me. I'd never talked to him about stuff like this during my past attempts so hopefully full disclosure will help. I just don't want him to think I am nuts or not trying hard enough. TV coming around is actually proof I am doing it. I am trying and succeeding!
Too bad TV isn't an ex-husband. You can't get a restraining order on a figment of my imagination.
I'm going to keep the timer where it is for now. I was going to up it another 10-15 minutes but I'm not going to risk pushing so hard that I set myself up for failure. I've cut the smoking in half the first week so with 20 days left til VDay I think I am on track.
"The Voice" is back. The one that comes around every time I try to quit smoking. The Voice comes and then the mood swings begin a few days later. TV is so negative and mean. It's like an abusive spouse in your head all the time.
The Voice: (15 minutes left on the timer.) Close enough! Go ahead have another cig you've been good you deserve it.
Me: Go away.
TV: Come on, Heather. It's ok no one's looking... no one will know.
Me: I SAID FUCK OFF! Leave me alone!!!
TV: You'll never be rid of me. I OWN YOU! You can't do this. You're nothing without me.
Me: Watch me, asshole!
So far I am winning this war and I am soooo happy about that.
I am putting it here for all to see so when "TV" comes back I can tell it that everyone knows about it and it can't trick me. It's exposed and it can't try and bully me anymore. I tell Jase now when it happens so he can keep an eye on me. I'd never talked to him about stuff like this during my past attempts so hopefully full disclosure will help. I just don't want him to think I am nuts or not trying hard enough. TV coming around is actually proof I am doing it. I am trying and succeeding!
Too bad TV isn't an ex-husband. You can't get a restraining order on a figment of my imagination.
I'm going to keep the timer where it is for now. I was going to up it another 10-15 minutes but I'm not going to risk pushing so hard that I set myself up for failure. I've cut the smoking in half the first week so with 20 days left til VDay I think I am on track.
1 comments on "I'm not a lunatic..."
- Shelly- Mom Files on January 25, 2010 at 10:25 AM said...
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Come on girl....keep it going!! You got this!!
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1 comments:
Come on girl....keep it going!! You got this!!
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